To Be Not-So-Fear-Filled

Three interesting things all happened last week:

  1. I received a signed copy of the book The Fear Cure by Lissa Rankin.
  2. On the phone, my mother told me that she appreciated my fearless, ferocious, and heart-centric approach towards experiencing and expressing how I want to show up, who I want to be, and what I want to share with the world around me.
  3. A tender moment in conversation was shared between my boyfriend and me where he asked me what my fears were.

And here’s the truth. I’m not a very fear-filled person. I’m normally not one to assess risk or go down the rabbit hole with “what-ifs”, “could-haves”, or “uh-ohs”. Instead, the inner workings of my being sound, and feel, and look something like this:

Fearlessness is being willing to take risks and break rules, rules that I have created for myself, rules that others have created for me.

Fearlessness is speaking my truth and using my voice, even though I sometimes over share and un-filter my thoughts, I always learn from whatever edges I am pushing.

Fearlessness is quitting jobs that make me feel confined, small, and not creative, and instead, seeking work that fills me, inspires me, and feeds my soul, even if I am uncertain of how it will pay my bills.

Fearlessness is being okay with saying no, being the first to leave,and opting to “miss out” from a place of self-care and self-knowing.

Fearlessness is creating lists, manifesting goals, and exploring wild dreams, then whole-heartedly surrendering and letting-go of my attachment to the outcome.

Fearlessness is having hard conversations and asking big questions, even if that means I will experience heartache, disappointment, or loss.

Fearlessness is having dated a lot of different people, recognizing that no one person will ever be the “perfect” match, but finding a few that touch my soul so profoundly that I will never look at life or love the same.

Fearlessness is having the good fortune of knowing that someone always has my back, that I am never alone, and that in moments of loneliness,I need to make better friends with myself.

Fearlessness is knowing that no words or actions from the outside world can ever break me, as I have said and done far crueler things to myself than anyone else would ever be capable of.

Fearlessness is being vulnerable, expressing my feelings, and showing my most authentic self, even when it makes me the weirdest, wildest, or most sensitive person in the room.

Fearlessness is embracing physical touch and sexual exchanges, because I have been one of the few fortunate enough to not have experienced a scary or unsafe physical experience.

Fearlessness is trusting my body and my innate inner knowing, as my intuition had never, ever led me astray.

Fearlessness is being comfortable being alone, and willing to explore all of the murky, scary, and fucked-up sides of myself.

Fearlessness is being sometimes overly trusting and slightly naive, as I have been blessed to have never been robbed or assaulted or burned (that badly).

Fearlessness is experiencing the isolation, sadness, and overwhelm, that often comes with persistent illness, only to realize that I have the power to heal myself.

Fearlessness is trusting in something bigger than myself, seeing the world, exploring nature, and knowing that I am a very small piece of a much larger picture.

Fearlessness is becoming friends with my inner child, and learning to recognize when my small, ego-driven self is out of alignment with the truth of who I am.

Fearlessness is loving deeply and fully with my whole heart, even with knowing that I may be hurt or left or forgotten.

Fearlessness is embracing the impermanence of everything, that no matter how painful or joyful, sorrow-filled or celebratory, I always have the choice to do my best in being present to what is, as it is.

What's Your Definition of Success?

I spent the weekend attending an incredibly heart-warming workshop with my professional role model and mentor, Lissa Rankin, MD. Although I found myself captivated during most of the sessions and group circles, I was particularly inspired by the definition that Lissa read to us on what success means to her.

As a health coach, I am constantly working with people on exploring ways to more deeply connect with themselves, their community, and the environment. What better activity to acknowledge these circles of connection then through an integrative and whole-hearted definition of success.

So… I dare you, go grab a pen and your journal and write out what success means to YOU. I’ve included my definition below if you are in need of extra guidance.

To me, success is not measured by my professional title, material possessions, amount of money in my bank account, the way I look, or the number of individuals that I claim as part of my “circle”. Success is having a strong, unwavering, sense of self that seamlessly supports how I engage in my relationships, make personal and professional decisions, and follow on the unique and divine path of my own purpose. Success is having a small, intimate, inner circle of friends and family that know they are my first priority and are willing to offer openness, compassionate communication, honest feedback, and vulnerability with me. Success is dancing, playing, and laughing in nature in a way that reminds me of the vast expansiveness of the human experience. Success is doing work in service to the world that is integrity-filled and heart-centric. Success is slowing down, listening to my body, and not getting trapped in society’s sexy sell of “busyness”. Success is fresh food from sustainable sources, clean water, and the time to sit and delight in the art of eating with the people that I love. Although money and financial abundance is not my definition of success, it is a byproduct of my work in a way that allows me to feel safe and supported in having my needs met without stress or worry.

Most of all, success is celebrating the gifts of my imperfections in a way that allows me to constantly grow, change, and evolve with endless gratitude and overwhelming awe.